It's how someone's random remarks become endearing. Their face flashes for a split second, even when you're not thinking about them (or so you thought). It's the extra energy you find when you're about to call it a day, but apparently there's something more important than rest. It's when they smile and right then and there, you hope they get to live a happy life. And also secretly hope you get to play a part in that.
*
Now that's where you start to wonder. Whether these feelings are uncalled for. Is it too much, given what has and hasn't happened. And that lead you to doubts. Do they feel the same way, and does it even matter. Is it worth forgoing your ego, at the risk of seeming too easy. You know detaching would be the convenient way out, so as much as you can be in tune at each juncture, you choose another path.
*
Acceptance is the bedrock of this path. That the world owes you nothing, and they don't either. That you get to just be dumb still, as many times you want. That you'd rather keep your heart warm, no matter how close it is to be burned. And then there's also trust. Not in any sort of happy ending, just that what's meant to be will be. That the right person will see you for who you are, and somehow like what they see.
*
So now you have hope. The very thing that could crush you when you're up high enough. But it's ok, you want to be strong anyway. And only after tested, you'll get to make that claim. So you look inside and recognise that all these are simply the part and parcel of caring. And for better or worse, you think it's worth it.
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